Who I Am

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This person survived rape.

This person survived sexual assault.

This person survived an eating disorder.

This person survived drug abuse.

This person survived alcohol abuse.

This person survived religious brainwashing.

This person survived bullying.

This person survived discrimination.

This person survived losing his best friend at 18.

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By all accounts, I am a Survivor.

A victim, yes – BUT durable.

I live with all the symptoms that come from having Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Panic Disorder, and Bipolar II Disorder. My scars come from genetics to environmental factors and everything in-between. Life has always been barely manageable – a world filled with pain. Even moments of joy weren’t pleasurable. The moments were only the absence of pain. A numbness.

But through self-preservation and love, I’m still here. Each day is a fight and it shouldn’t be. But it is and I now have the necessary skills to cope with the journey of life.

As much as I’m a Survivor, I want to be known as a Liver. Because, life should be more than just surviving. It should be lived. A life isn’t lived unless it’s accompanied by both the good and the bad.

This decade has been brutal, senselessly unkind. A decade filled with loss, pain, and grief. It’s also been a decade filled with love. Love from my husband. Love from my family. Love from friends. A decade which started with me completely lost and ends with me on a journey of self-acceptance and self-love.

In 2020, join me in living. Take the trip. Write the book. Share your story. Love and be loved.

Learn more about me on my author site at calebislost.com

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